Memory Project 2

Memory Project is fiction.

  All Sophie appreciated was the fact that she remembered. She remembered that she put her book on the bed side table. Or was it just coincident? She believed that she had a serious problem about remembering what she had done a second ago. It must have been something about deleting memories in her brain, but it became quite serious sometimes.   

  She indeed tried to delete her memory very hard after she had a car accident. She lost her child in this car accident. She was on the way to see a musical at Seoul Art Center.  Mielle, it was the name for this lost child if she were born ever. After that, Sophie didn't try to talk about Mielle until they got me from the adoption center in Seoul. And awfully enough, they named me after Mielle. 

  I will never be Mielle, but I was Mielle. It was quite harsh for me to be called Mielle. I didn't care much about my name anyway. Jean Daniel is named after grandfather Daniel and great grand father Jean. This is more pathetic than Mielle. He can't make his name just one word because he might feel guilty about choosing either his father or his grandfather. Actually, who cares? Mielle was at least one word, so it was fine by me. I just have very different look from Mielle, though, but who cares?

  Sophie brought out her book to the living room. 

  "Look! I found my book right away. It was on the bed side table where I put last night. I remembered. Perhaps, I am not forgetting anything."

   Jean Daniel was not in the living room, but Sophie shouted loud enough for him to hear even from his library. Sophie was very proud of herself. I wasn't paying attention even though I was in the living room watching TV. 

   "Mielle, don't you have better things to do than staring at that stupid box?"

   "Mom, don't you have better things to do...."

   Sophie was already gone back to her bedroom.

   I couldn't pay attention, because I knew she was very happy about this little fact that she remembered what she had done last night, but I couldn't have any sympathy for this. It looks so vain. And what if her memory all comes back? Would she remember her baby Mielle? Would she throw me away after she get the memory back even though that baby Mielle is not here any more? The answer is no. She is just afraid of losing good memories she has since she deleted so many memories in her brain. She knew deleting memories in her brain can cause this kind of problems in the end when she wanted to delete her memories anyway. Now, she cannot complain like this. She cannot go back and say 'I want my memory back' because she is the one who deleted. No one asked her, but she did. Sophie is very emotional sometimes, so I have to be careful today. I don't want to get involved in her emotion today. I just can't stand it now. Perhaps, I can help her tomorrow, but not now.